This is a page of quotes from various Happy Days episodes.  If you 
have any to add, please e-mail me and let me know, as I have not seen
all the episodes yet, so I know I am probabaly missing some good 

Richie: There must be girls somewhere that think of us as men
Potise: There are, but Joanies friends are too short.
-Episode number 28

Al: This is all I have to remember Rosa by
Fonz: You dated the women on the dime?
-Episode number 174

Fonz: I like to encourage the kid when he shows some get up and go
Richie: That's not all that's gettin up and goin.
-Episode number 141

Howard: But how are you going to support my daughter, how are you 
        going to put food on the table?
Chachi: Don't worry Mr. C something bound to come along.
Howard: Yeah, and you'll have to feed that too.  
-Episode number 209

Lady: You ought to be ashamed, making your wife work nights. If I 
       were your wife I'd drink poison.  
Howard: If you were my wife I'd let you.  
-Episode 172

Marion: Oh Howard can you belive it, our babies having a baby, and 
        one day, that baby will have a baby, and that baby will have
        a baby, but of course we'll be dead."
Howard: Marion, can't we just back up a few babies and enjoy the 
-Episode 194

Roger and Al: Fonz
Fonz: I am trying to tell Lori Beth something
Roger and Al: But Fonz
Fonz: What
Roger and Al: She's havin a baby
Fonz: Who?
Roger and Al: Lori Beth
Fonz: I know
Roger and Al: Now!
-episode 194

Potsie: did you ever go out with a girl you really wanted to impress
        and all you could do was make a fool of yourself?
Ralph: Have you been reading my diary?
-episode 165

Richie: You never can tell what card the old hand of fates gonna 
         deal ya.
-Episode number 165

Potsie: Not now, Fonz
Fonz: Again, not now, your gonna be the first singer on Jupiter
-Episode 165

Fonz: The hood is part of a car, I'm Mr. Arthur Fonzerelli.  
-episode 165

Howard: Why don't you interview your old dad, you could call it
        interview with a common man.
Marion: Or you could call it interview with a chubby man.
-episode 33

Richie: No dad I'm going to interview Howdy Doody.  
Howard: You mean you'd rather interview a dummy than me? Don' say
         what you're thinking Marion.  
-Episode 33

Howard: My feet are exactly 11 inches long, if you don't believe
        me you can get a ruler and measure them.  
Marion: If I could find a ruler, I wouldn't need your feet.
-Episode 34

Joanie: What if your parents call your house and want to talk to
Jenny: Don't worry Joans, i'll cover for you, I'll tell em your too
        drunk to come to the phone.
-episode 169

Chachi: I think i'll take the bus back, its been a dream of mine
        for a long time.
Fonz: Come on, I know you dream of Natalie Wood
Chachi: Yes, but in the dream, I meet her on a bus.
-Episode 169

Howard: Why Chachi, what's that?
Chachi: It's a ladder
Howard: What's it for?
Chachi: to umm, paint your house.
-Episode 169

Howard: Marion, get me my hunting rifle.
Marion: You don't need your rifle, they're musicians.
Howard: Well then get me my saxaphone, what are they doing here?
-episode 36

Joanie: That doesn't give you much time to prepare
Fonz: Prepare what?
Joanie: You're curriculm
Fonz: What's wrong with the way I'm dressed?
-Number 170

Marion: Howard, did you go out in your Jammies?
Howard: No Sweetheart, I wore a suit and changed at the mailbox.
-Episode 170

Lori Beth: No Fonz, I don't believe you. Just like I didn't belive
           you found $800 in your Wheaties.
-Episode 170

Joanie: Mom, I'm going to Jennys
Jenny: Yeah, we're gonna memorize the ten commandments, they're 
       real great.  
Joanie: Jenny, we're just going to watch TV, they don't mind that.
-Episode 171

Joanie: If you had the keys, how'd they steal the car mom?
Richie: Yeah, and when you come to think of it, why'd they steal 
         the car?
-Number 146

Marion: Operator, can you please get me the police?
(Knock at door)
Howard: I'll get it, why hello officer Kirk
Marion: Why thank you operator, that was certainly speedy service
-number 146

Officer Kirk: Well, I knew there was a creep in here
Fonz: Heyy, don't be so hard on yourself Kirk

Richie: Hey Fonz, are you gonna drive mom home on your bike?
Fonz, Course not, she's a classy lady.  I'm gonna pick her up with
      the tow truck.

Chachi: Hey blue eyse wanna go outside and try the balcony scence
        from Romeo and Juliet?
Joanie: Wanna go outside and try not coming back?

Richie: You joined the lords, what are you crazy?
Chachi: No, I"m a drummer, remmeber

Ralph: Ok guys theres 3 of us and three of them, you know what that
Potsie: Yeah, there's six of us.

Fonz: you treat girls with love, tenderness and respect
Chachi: Do you treat all of your girls that way?
Fonz: Yes, I do and it makes me proud to be an american

Howard: I called this meeting because any minute now a salesmen 
         will be coming in here.
Marion: Are we buying a new house
Howard: What do we need a new house for, what's wrong with this one?
Marion: Well, we don't have enough closet space, life would be so
        much more pleasant if we just had more closet space

Fonz: Can you get outta my face?
Eugene: You say it, i'll do it.
Fonz: I'm sayin it
Eugene: I'm doin it.

Lori Beth: She's used to going out with guys who've lived
Potsie: I've lived
Lori Beth: I mean, recently

Potsie: Don't tell her i'm dying to meet her, have her bump 
        into me accidently
Lori beth: I'll have her hit you with her car

Lori Beth: Potsie stil hasn't told us what his job is
Fonz: The guys entitled to privacy, just because he's keeping 
      secrets doesn't mean he's doing something bad, maybe he's 
Lori Beth: Why would he keep that a secret?
Fonz: I don't know, maybe he's singing for the cia?

Marion: I'm going to go shopping for groceries, do you want anything
Howard: Yeah, bring some money back

Chachi: Fonz, she has an imaginary bird
fonz: How do you know the bird is imaginary, maybe we're imaginary

Ralph: No, Al the Alamos a  special part of inspiration point, they
       have no streetlights there
Al: But why do they call it the Alamo
Potsie/Richie/And Ralph: Because its so much fun to, Remember the 

Al: I should have paid more attention to Rosa Colletti, one night
    she said Alamo and I put more ice cream on her pie

Howard: Now you be careful, do you remember what happend the last
        time you cooked in wine sauce?
Marion: Why no?
Howard: Exactly

Marion: Oh Howard, I never knew food could be so intoxicating
Howard: You never could hold your chicken Marion.

Joanie: Mom, Chachi and I have finally done something that we've
         wanted to do for a long time, and we hope you approve
Marion: Oh Joanie, oh my littel girl, oh my.....
Joanie: Mom, I don't know what your thinking but its not that
Chachi: Yeah, its never that.

Fonz: Well, what do you want to do with your life?
Chachi: I want to play my music, but its such a long shot
Fonz: So what, you don't know unless you try, I LIncoln had thought
      being pres was such a long shot, we'd have nobodies picture on
      the one dollar bill

Jenny: Wanna get drunk, fool around, have a few kids or any of the 
Roger: Jenny, what is the matter with you?
Jenny: Oh nothing I just had a few minutes to kill before my date

Jenny: This is the worst summer i've spent since my parents sent me
        to convent camp

Chachi: Jenny, what are you doing here?
Jenny: You're telling her parents you two are going back to Chicago,
       I wouldn't miss this for a weekend with the Green Bay Packers
       as their towel girl

Howard: Marion why do we need new linoleum
Marion: Because it's worn out, Howard we haven't changed anything in
        this house in twenty years, its like living in a museum, 
        except we don't have a gift shop

Fonz: Listen we went to a lot of trouble to get you here, so 
       you've gotta be calm, cool and collected
Chachi: Don't worry, i'll turn on the old Arcola Charm, by the end of
        the meal, i'll have her eating out of her plate.

Chachi: Ashley, this is delicious, but to be honest it really can't
        compare to Joanies salisbury steak.
Joanie: Chachi those are just frozen tv dinners
Chachi: Yeah but nobody thaws the food the way you do

Heather: Don't worry Joanie, if things don't work out, i'll be your
         best friend

Flip: Guys, you won't believe this an ice cream truck just turned over
      across the street, free popsickles for everyone
K.C: oh my goodness, I hope the driver isn't hurt
Jenny: He may need some bandages i'll tear up my clothes
K.C:  Jenny, you're such a floozy
Jenny: You noticed

Chachi: I was thinking I can do my music anyplace, but there's only
        one you

Richie: All right that's enough we can't play the song like this
        you two are going to have to work it out
Herbie: Hey, I said fast, you don't mess with Herbie the Turk
Fonz: You know you're right, I never mess with Turkeys

Herbie: Hey, are you lookin for a fight
Fonz: I tell ya i'd love to fight ya, but theres a law against
      cruelty to animals in Milwaulkee

Fonz: I have one thing to say to you shortcake, If you put out an
      advertizemt someone is going to answer that ad

Fonz: Leather tuscadero is a thief, three years ago she lifted my
Howard: and she's still around to tell about it
Fonz: heyyy the fonz is merciful

Leather: Listen Mr Magic i'm not like you, i can't control things
         with a finger snap
fonz: Hey that didn't come to me right away, it took time, at least
      two night

Fonz: Since it is the Fonzs task to bring joy and laughter into 
      everybodies hearts, esp the female gender, I am going to make
      Leather and the sueded very, very happy
Richie: Fonz, your talking about my sister
Fonz: Not in that way Rich.

Fonz:  Don't rush it, you've got to live life one moment at a time
       because once time goes by, it never come back again

Richie: YOu know, you should think about what Fonz said, because you
        don't see too many forty year old skipping around the maypole

Chachi: I want the old Joanie back and I want her at my game tonite
Joanie: You're nuts, and you haven't hit a homerun in months
Chachi: Oh, yeah
Joanie: Yeah
Chachi: I gotta work on my comebacks

Fonz: You're not going to make points with her by showing her how 
      much you hate her, you've got to show her how much you love her
Chachi: That's beautiful
Fonz: I know, I gotta start keepin a journal

Chachi: this is the part where you tell me you'd still like to be
Joanie: I would, I'd like that very much
Chachi: Well I hate that part, I can't be your friend now because
        I still love you.

Joanie: Chachi listen, I don't know if this will make it any better
        but the time we spent together was the best time in my whole

Chachi: Hi, My names Chaci what's yours
Kim: Kim
Chachi: Oh Kim, that' a nice name, did you know your name spelled
         backwards is Mik?

Fonz: Let me take a stab here, your evening went well
Chachi: I went out a boy and came back a man
Fonz: Well, that's certainly a full evening

Joanie: Chachi that was one date, what does she know
Chachi: YOu dumped me too, and you know me better than anyone
Joanie: Chachi don't you see, that wasn't because of you, it was
        becaue of me, and what that girl did was because of her
Chachi: oh sure, all you girls have problems and I have to take 
        a beating for it.

Joanie: there are going to be times when you ask people out and there
        gonna say no, and there are gonna be times when you want 
        people to ask you out and they won't.  Then there are gonna
        be times when people yell air raid, and jump on your bones
Chachi: that's not a bad line.

Fonz: It just so happens that the photograhper Chachi is helping is 
       taking photos of girls in their birthday suits.
Richie: Birthday suits, you mean nude?
fonz: No, I mean with party hats and blowers, of course I mean nude.    

Chachi: I"m sorry Jake, but I have to quit.  See my cousin offered
        me this real neat opportunity.  If I leave here, I get to 

Roger: Did you know that no other mammal other than the primate has
Fonz: I guess that's why we never see them bowling.

Marion: They never proved Flip was the thief, he had an iron clad 
Howard: Yeah, he said he was taking a shower all night.

Roger: Sometimes Flip is so nice and fun to be around, others he's
       so impossible.  Today he left the house without making his
Fonz: Any you didn't shoot him?

Roger: Math Homework huh?
Flip: You got it.
Roger: Why don't you factor out?
Flip: Why don't you?

Roger: You were very responsible tonight, and as a reward, I'm 
        going to take you miniture golfing tommorow.
Flip: Miniture Golf, oh boy, please don't let me die tonight

Roger: I don't get it, if you drove Aunt Marion home why won't 
       they answer the phone?
Flip: Maybe they went to bed.
Roger: If they went to bed, why won't they answer the phone?
Flip: Think about it.
Roger: Ohhhh!!

Howard: Marion, the kids are gone, we can do anything we want, we
        can even watch tv naked. 
Marion: Oh not that again, Howard.

Fonz: Is your daddy home?
Heather: No
Fonz: When is your daddy coming home?
Heather: Mommy says when Hell freezes over.

Heather: Mommy, who was that.
Ashley: Never you mind, it was someone who'll never set foot in
        this house again.
Heather: Too bad, I thought he was cute.

Fonz: I have to go out to the garage
Heather: Oh no you don't. Mom says you're going to go beat up the guy
         who spit on your trophy.

Heather: A boy pulled my hair, I wanted to hit him. But, Mommy 
         always told me when I get mad just say: Pins and needles,
         needles and pins, its a happy girl who always grins.
       - #216

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