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This is a page of quotes from various Happy Days episodes. If you have any to add, please e-mail me and let me know, as I have not seen all the episodes yet, so I know I am probabaly missing some good ones.
Richie: There must be girls somewhere that think of us as men
Potise: There are, but Joanies friends are too short.
-Episode number 28
Al: This is all I have to remember Rosa by
Fonz: You dated the women on the dime?
-Episode number 174
Fonz: I like to encourage the kid when he shows some get up and go
Richie: That's not all that's gettin up and goin.
-Episode number 141
Howard: But how are you going to support my daughter, how are you
going to put food on the table?
Chachi: Don't worry Mr. C something bound to come along.
Howard: Yeah, and you'll have to feed that too.
-Episode number 209
Lady: You ought to be ashamed, making your wife work nights. If I
were your wife I'd drink poison.
Howard: If you were my wife I'd let you.
-Episode 172
Marion: Oh Howard can you belive it, our babies having a baby, and
one day, that baby will have a baby, and that baby will have
a baby, but of course we'll be dead."
Howard: Marion, can't we just back up a few babies and enjoy the
moment.
-Episode 194
Roger and Al: Fonz
Fonz: I am trying to tell Lori Beth something
Roger and Al: But Fonz
Fonz: What
Roger and Al: She's havin a baby
Fonz: Who?
Roger and Al: Lori Beth
Fonz: I know
Roger and Al: Now!
-episode 194
Potsie: did you ever go out with a girl you really wanted to impress
and all you could do was make a fool of yourself?
Ralph: Have you been reading my diary?
-episode 165
Richie: You never can tell what card the old hand of fates gonna
deal ya.
-Episode number 165
Potsie: Not now, Fonz
Fonz: Again, not now, your gonna be the first singer on Jupiter
-Episode 165
Fonz: The hood is part of a car, I'm Mr. Arthur Fonzerelli.
-episode 165
Howard: Why don't you interview your old dad, you could call it
interview with a common man.
Marion: Or you could call it interview with a chubby man.
-episode 33
Richie: No dad I'm going to interview Howdy Doody.
Howard: You mean you'd rather interview a dummy than me? Don' say
what you're thinking Marion.
-Episode 33
Howard: My feet are exactly 11 inches long, if you don't believe
me you can get a ruler and measure them.
Marion: If I could find a ruler, I wouldn't need your feet.
-Episode 34
Joanie: What if your parents call your house and want to talk to
me.
Jenny: Don't worry Joans, i'll cover for you, I'll tell em your too
drunk to come to the phone.
-episode 169
Chachi: I think i'll take the bus back, its been a dream of mine
for a long time.
Fonz: Come on, I know you dream of Natalie Wood
Chachi: Yes, but in the dream, I meet her on a bus.
-Episode 169
Howard: Why Chachi, what's that?
Chachi: It's a ladder
Howard: What's it for?
Chachi: to umm, paint your house.
-Episode 169
Howard: Marion, get me my hunting rifle.
Marion: You don't need your rifle, they're musicians.
Howard: Well then get me my saxaphone, what are they doing here?
-episode 36
Joanie: That doesn't give you much time to prepare
Fonz: Prepare what?
Joanie: You're curriculm
Fonz: What's wrong with the way I'm dressed?
-Number 170
Marion: Howard, did you go out in your Jammies?
Howard: No Sweetheart, I wore a suit and changed at the mailbox.
-Episode 170
Lori Beth: No Fonz, I don't believe you. Just like I didn't belive
you found $800 in your Wheaties.
-Episode 170
Joanie: Mom, I'm going to Jennys
Jenny: Yeah, we're gonna memorize the ten commandments, they're
real great.
Joanie: Jenny, we're just going to watch TV, they don't mind that.
-Episode 171
Joanie: If you had the keys, how'd they steal the car mom?
Richie: Yeah, and when you come to think of it, why'd they steal
the car?
-Number 146
Marion: Operator, can you please get me the police?
(Knock at door)
Howard: I'll get it, why hello officer Kirk
Marion: Why thank you operator, that was certainly speedy service
-number 146
Officer Kirk: Well, I knew there was a creep in here
Fonz: Heyy, don't be so hard on yourself Kirk
-146
Richie: Hey Fonz, are you gonna drive mom home on your bike?
Fonz, Course not, she's a classy lady. I'm gonna pick her up with
the tow truck.
-149
Chachi: Hey blue eyse wanna go outside and try the balcony scence
from Romeo and Juliet?
Joanie: Wanna go outside and try not coming back?
-149
Richie: You joined the lords, what are you crazy?
Chachi: No, I"m a drummer, remmeber
-109
Ralph: Ok guys theres 3 of us and three of them, you know what that
means?
Potsie: Yeah, there's six of us.
-153
Fonz: you treat girls with love, tenderness and respect
Chachi: Do you treat all of your girls that way?
Fonz: Yes, I do and it makes me proud to be an american
-153
Howard: I called this meeting because any minute now a salesmen
will be coming in here.
Marion: Are we buying a new house
Howard: What do we need a new house for, what's wrong with this one?
Marion: Well, we don't have enough closet space, life would be so
much more pleasant if we just had more closet space
-16
Fonz: Can you get outta my face?
Eugene: You say it, i'll do it.
Fonz: I'm sayin it
Eugene: I'm doin it.
-172
Lori Beth: She's used to going out with guys who've lived
Potsie: I've lived
Lori Beth: I mean, recently
-183
Potsie: Don't tell her i'm dying to meet her, have her bump
into me accidently
Lori beth: I'll have her hit you with her car
-183
Lori Beth: Potsie stil hasn't told us what his job is
Fonz: The guys entitled to privacy, just because he's keeping
secrets doesn't mean he's doing something bad, maybe he's
singing
Lori Beth: Why would he keep that a secret?
Fonz: I don't know, maybe he's singing for the cia?
-183
Marion: I'm going to go shopping for groceries, do you want anything
special?
Howard: Yeah, bring some money back
-186
Chachi: Fonz, she has an imaginary bird
fonz: How do you know the bird is imaginary, maybe we're imaginary
-203
Ralph: No, Al the Alamos a special part of inspiration point, they
have no streetlights there
Al: But why do they call it the Alamo
Potsie/Richie/And Ralph: Because its so much fun to, Remember the
Alamo
-158
Al: I should have paid more attention to Rosa Colletti, one night
she said Alamo and I put more ice cream on her pie
-158
Howard: Now you be careful, do you remember what happend the last
time you cooked in wine sauce?
Marion: Why no?
Howard: Exactly
-158
Marion: Oh Howard, I never knew food could be so intoxicating
Howard: You never could hold your chicken Marion.
-158
Joanie: Mom, Chachi and I have finally done something that we've
wanted to do for a long time, and we hope you approve
Marion: Oh Joanie, oh my littel girl, oh my.....
Joanie: Mom, I don't know what your thinking but its not that
Chachi: Yeah, its never that.
-209
Fonz: Well, what do you want to do with your life?
Chachi: I want to play my music, but its such a long shot
Fonz: So what, you don't know unless you try, I LIncoln had thought
being pres was such a long shot, we'd have nobodies picture on
the one dollar bill
-209
Jenny: Wanna get drunk, fool around, have a few kids or any of the
above?
Roger: Jenny, what is the matter with you?
Jenny: Oh nothing I just had a few minutes to kill before my date
-209
Jenny: This is the worst summer i've spent since my parents sent me
to convent camp
-213
Chachi: Jenny, what are you doing here?
Jenny: You're telling her parents you two are going back to Chicago,
I wouldn't miss this for a weekend with the Green Bay Packers
as their towel girl
-213
Howard: Marion why do we need new linoleum
Marion: Because it's worn out, Howard we haven't changed anything in
this house in twenty years, its like living in a museum,
except we don't have a gift shop
-226
Fonz: Listen we went to a lot of trouble to get you here, so
you've gotta be calm, cool and collected
Chachi: Don't worry, i'll turn on the old Arcola Charm, by the end of
the meal, i'll have her eating out of her plate.
-232
Chachi: Ashley, this is delicious, but to be honest it really can't
compare to Joanies salisbury steak.
Joanie: Chachi those are just frozen tv dinners
Chachi: Yeah but nobody thaws the food the way you do
-232
Heather: Don't worry Joanie, if things don't work out, i'll be your
best friend
-232
Flip: Guys, you won't believe this an ice cream truck just turned over
across the street, free popsickles for everyone
K.C: oh my goodness, I hope the driver isn't hurt
Jenny: He may need some bandages i'll tear up my clothes
K.C: Jenny, you're such a floozy
Jenny: You noticed
-232
Chachi: I was thinking I can do my music anyplace, but there's only
one you
-232
Richie: All right that's enough we can't play the song like this
you two are going to have to work it out
Herbie: Hey, I said fast, you don't mess with Herbie the Turk
Fonz: You know you're right, I never mess with Turkeys
-84
Herbie: Hey, are you lookin for a fight
Fonz: I tell ya i'd love to fight ya, but theres a law against
cruelty to animals in Milwaulkee
-84
Fonz: I have one thing to say to you shortcake, If you put out an
advertizemt someone is going to answer that ad
-84
Fonz: Leather tuscadero is a thief, three years ago she lifted my
comb
Howard: and she's still around to tell about it
Fonz: heyyy the fonz is merciful
-96
Leather: Listen Mr Magic i'm not like you, i can't control things
with a finger snap
fonz: Hey that didn't come to me right away, it took time, at least
two night
-96
Fonz: Since it is the Fonzs task to bring joy and laughter into
everybodies hearts, esp the female gender, I am going to make
Leather and the sueded very, very happy
Richie: Fonz, your talking about my sister
Fonz: Not in that way Rich.
-96
Fonz: Don't rush it, you've got to live life one moment at a time
because once time goes by, it never come back again
-97
Richie: YOu know, you should think about what Fonz said, because you
don't see too many forty year old skipping around the maypole
-97
Chachi: I want the old Joanie back and I want her at my game tonite
Joanie: You're nuts, and you haven't hit a homerun in months
Chachi: Oh, yeah
Joanie: Yeah
Chachi: I gotta work on my comebacks
-235
Fonz: You're not going to make points with her by showing her how
much you hate her, you've got to show her how much you love her
Chachi: That's beautiful
Fonz: I know, I gotta start keepin a journal
-235
Chachi: this is the part where you tell me you'd still like to be
friends
Joanie: I would, I'd like that very much
Chachi: Well I hate that part, I can't be your friend now because
I still love you.
-235
Joanie: Chachi listen, I don't know if this will make it any better
but the time we spent together was the best time in my whole
life
-235
Chachi: Hi, My names Chaci what's yours
Kim: Kim
Chachi: Oh Kim, that' a nice name, did you know your name spelled
backwards is Mik?
-236
Fonz: Let me take a stab here, your evening went well
Chachi: I went out a boy and came back a man
Fonz: Well, that's certainly a full evening
-236
Joanie: Chachi that was one date, what does she know
Chachi: YOu dumped me too, and you know me better than anyone
Joanie: Chachi don't you see, that wasn't because of you, it was
becaue of me, and what that girl did was because of her
Chachi: oh sure, all you girls have problems and I have to take
a beating for it.
-236
Joanie: there are going to be times when you ask people out and there
gonna say no, and there are gonna be times when you want
people to ask you out and they won't. Then there are gonna
be times when people yell air raid, and jump on your bones
Chachi: that's not a bad line.
-236
Fonz: It just so happens that the photograhper Chachi is helping is
taking photos of girls in their birthday suits.
Richie: Birthday suits, you mean nude?
fonz: No, I mean with party hats and blowers, of course I mean nude.
-#151
Chachi: I"m sorry Jake, but I have to quit. See my cousin offered
me this real neat opportunity. If I leave here, I get to
live.
-#151
Roger: Did you know that no other mammal other than the primate has
thumbs?
Fonz: I guess that's why we never see them bowling.
-#207
Marion: They never proved Flip was the thief, he had an iron clad
alibi.
Howard: Yeah, he said he was taking a shower all night.
-#208
Roger: Sometimes Flip is so nice and fun to be around, others he's
so impossible. Today he left the house without making his
bed.
Fonz: Any you didn't shoot him?
-#208
Roger: Math Homework huh?
Flip: You got it.
Roger: Why don't you factor out?
Flip: Why don't you?
-#208
Roger: You were very responsible tonight, and as a reward, I'm
going to take you miniture golfing tommorow.
Flip: Miniture Golf, oh boy, please don't let me die tonight
-#208
Roger: I don't get it, if you drove Aunt Marion home why won't
they answer the phone?
Flip: Maybe they went to bed.
Roger: If they went to bed, why won't they answer the phone?
Flip: Think about it.
Roger: Ohhhh!!
-#208
Howard: Marion, the kids are gone, we can do anything we want, we
can even watch tv naked.
Marion: Oh not that again, Howard.
-#214
Fonz: Is your daddy home?
Heather: No
Fonz: When is your daddy coming home?
Heather: Mommy says when Hell freezes over.
-#214
Heather: Mommy, who was that.
Ashley: Never you mind, it was someone who'll never set foot in
this house again.
Heather: Too bad, I thought he was cute.
#214
Fonz: I have to go out to the garage
Heather: Oh no you don't. Mom says you're going to go beat up the guy
who spit on your trophy.
-#216
Heather: A boy pulled my hair, I wanted to hit him. But, Mommy
always told me when I get mad just say: Pins and needles,
needles and pins, its a happy girl who always grins.
- #216