This is a page of quotes from various Happy Days episodes. If you have any to add, please e-mail me and let me know, as I have not seen all the episodes yet, so I know I am probabaly missing some good ones.
Richie: There must be girls somewhere that think of us as men Potise: There are, but Joanies friends are too short. -Episode number 28 Al: This is all I have to remember Rosa by Fonz: You dated the women on the dime? -Episode number 174 Fonz: I like to encourage the kid when he shows some get up and go Richie: That's not all that's gettin up and goin. -Episode number 141 Howard: But how are you going to support my daughter, how are you going to put food on the table? Chachi: Don't worry Mr. C something bound to come along. Howard: Yeah, and you'll have to feed that too. -Episode number 209 Lady: You ought to be ashamed, making your wife work nights. If I were your wife I'd drink poison. Howard: If you were my wife I'd let you. -Episode 172 Marion: Oh Howard can you belive it, our babies having a baby, and one day, that baby will have a baby, and that baby will have a baby, but of course we'll be dead." Howard: Marion, can't we just back up a few babies and enjoy the moment. -Episode 194 Roger and Al: Fonz Fonz: I am trying to tell Lori Beth something Roger and Al: But Fonz Fonz: What Roger and Al: She's havin a baby Fonz: Who? Roger and Al: Lori Beth Fonz: I know Roger and Al: Now! -episode 194 Potsie: did you ever go out with a girl you really wanted to impress and all you could do was make a fool of yourself? Ralph: Have you been reading my diary? -episode 165 Richie: You never can tell what card the old hand of fates gonna deal ya. -Episode number 165 Potsie: Not now, Fonz Fonz: Again, not now, your gonna be the first singer on Jupiter -Episode 165 Fonz: The hood is part of a car, I'm Mr. Arthur Fonzerelli. -episode 165 Howard: Why don't you interview your old dad, you could call it interview with a common man. Marion: Or you could call it interview with a chubby man. -episode 33 Richie: No dad I'm going to interview Howdy Doody. Howard: You mean you'd rather interview a dummy than me? Don' say what you're thinking Marion. -Episode 33 Howard: My feet are exactly 11 inches long, if you don't believe me you can get a ruler and measure them. Marion: If I could find a ruler, I wouldn't need your feet. -Episode 34 Joanie: What if your parents call your house and want to talk to me. Jenny: Don't worry Joans, i'll cover for you, I'll tell em your too drunk to come to the phone. -episode 169 Chachi: I think i'll take the bus back, its been a dream of mine for a long time. Fonz: Come on, I know you dream of Natalie Wood Chachi: Yes, but in the dream, I meet her on a bus. -Episode 169 Howard: Why Chachi, what's that? Chachi: It's a ladder Howard: What's it for? Chachi: to umm, paint your house. -Episode 169 Howard: Marion, get me my hunting rifle. Marion: You don't need your rifle, they're musicians. Howard: Well then get me my saxaphone, what are they doing here? -episode 36 Joanie: That doesn't give you much time to prepare Fonz: Prepare what? Joanie: You're curriculm Fonz: What's wrong with the way I'm dressed? -Number 170 Marion: Howard, did you go out in your Jammies? Howard: No Sweetheart, I wore a suit and changed at the mailbox. -Episode 170 Lori Beth: No Fonz, I don't believe you. Just like I didn't belive you found $800 in your Wheaties. -Episode 170 Joanie: Mom, I'm going to Jennys Jenny: Yeah, we're gonna memorize the ten commandments, they're real great. Joanie: Jenny, we're just going to watch TV, they don't mind that. -Episode 171 Joanie: If you had the keys, how'd they steal the car mom? Richie: Yeah, and when you come to think of it, why'd they steal the car? -Number 146 Marion: Operator, can you please get me the police? (Knock at door) Howard: I'll get it, why hello officer Kirk Marion: Why thank you operator, that was certainly speedy service -number 146 Officer Kirk: Well, I knew there was a creep in here Fonz: Heyy, don't be so hard on yourself Kirk -146 Richie: Hey Fonz, are you gonna drive mom home on your bike? Fonz, Course not, she's a classy lady. I'm gonna pick her up with the tow truck. -149 Chachi: Hey blue eyse wanna go outside and try the balcony scence from Romeo and Juliet? Joanie: Wanna go outside and try not coming back? -149 Richie: You joined the lords, what are you crazy? Chachi: No, I"m a drummer, remmeber -109 Ralph: Ok guys theres 3 of us and three of them, you know what that means? Potsie: Yeah, there's six of us. -153 Fonz: you treat girls with love, tenderness and respect Chachi: Do you treat all of your girls that way? Fonz: Yes, I do and it makes me proud to be an american -153 Howard: I called this meeting because any minute now a salesmen will be coming in here. Marion: Are we buying a new house Howard: What do we need a new house for, what's wrong with this one? Marion: Well, we don't have enough closet space, life would be so much more pleasant if we just had more closet space -16 Fonz: Can you get outta my face? Eugene: You say it, i'll do it. Fonz: I'm sayin it Eugene: I'm doin it. -172 Lori Beth: She's used to going out with guys who've lived Potsie: I've lived Lori Beth: I mean, recently -183 Potsie: Don't tell her i'm dying to meet her, have her bump into me accidently Lori beth: I'll have her hit you with her car -183 Lori Beth: Potsie stil hasn't told us what his job is Fonz: The guys entitled to privacy, just because he's keeping secrets doesn't mean he's doing something bad, maybe he's singing Lori Beth: Why would he keep that a secret? Fonz: I don't know, maybe he's singing for the cia? -183 Marion: I'm going to go shopping for groceries, do you want anything special? Howard: Yeah, bring some money back -186 Chachi: Fonz, she has an imaginary bird fonz: How do you know the bird is imaginary, maybe we're imaginary -203 Ralph: No, Al the Alamos a special part of inspiration point, they have no streetlights there Al: But why do they call it the Alamo Potsie/Richie/And Ralph: Because its so much fun to, Remember the Alamo -158 Al: I should have paid more attention to Rosa Colletti, one night she said Alamo and I put more ice cream on her pie -158 Howard: Now you be careful, do you remember what happend the last time you cooked in wine sauce? Marion: Why no? Howard: Exactly -158 Marion: Oh Howard, I never knew food could be so intoxicating Howard: You never could hold your chicken Marion. -158 Joanie: Mom, Chachi and I have finally done something that we've wanted to do for a long time, and we hope you approve Marion: Oh Joanie, oh my littel girl, oh my..... Joanie: Mom, I don't know what your thinking but its not that Chachi: Yeah, its never that. -209 Fonz: Well, what do you want to do with your life? Chachi: I want to play my music, but its such a long shot Fonz: So what, you don't know unless you try, I LIncoln had thought being pres was such a long shot, we'd have nobodies picture on the one dollar bill -209 Jenny: Wanna get drunk, fool around, have a few kids or any of the above? Roger: Jenny, what is the matter with you? Jenny: Oh nothing I just had a few minutes to kill before my date -209 Jenny: This is the worst summer i've spent since my parents sent me to convent camp -213 Chachi: Jenny, what are you doing here? Jenny: You're telling her parents you two are going back to Chicago, I wouldn't miss this for a weekend with the Green Bay Packers as their towel girl -213 Howard: Marion why do we need new linoleum Marion: Because it's worn out, Howard we haven't changed anything in this house in twenty years, its like living in a museum, except we don't have a gift shop -226 Fonz: Listen we went to a lot of trouble to get you here, so you've gotta be calm, cool and collected Chachi: Don't worry, i'll turn on the old Arcola Charm, by the end of the meal, i'll have her eating out of her plate. -232 Chachi: Ashley, this is delicious, but to be honest it really can't compare to Joanies salisbury steak. Joanie: Chachi those are just frozen tv dinners Chachi: Yeah but nobody thaws the food the way you do -232 Heather: Don't worry Joanie, if things don't work out, i'll be your best friend -232 Flip: Guys, you won't believe this an ice cream truck just turned over across the street, free popsickles for everyone K.C: oh my goodness, I hope the driver isn't hurt Jenny: He may need some bandages i'll tear up my clothes K.C: Jenny, you're such a floozy Jenny: You noticed -232 Chachi: I was thinking I can do my music anyplace, but there's only one you -232 Richie: All right that's enough we can't play the song like this you two are going to have to work it out Herbie: Hey, I said fast, you don't mess with Herbie the Turk Fonz: You know you're right, I never mess with Turkeys -84 Herbie: Hey, are you lookin for a fight Fonz: I tell ya i'd love to fight ya, but theres a law against cruelty to animals in Milwaulkee -84 Fonz: I have one thing to say to you shortcake, If you put out an advertizemt someone is going to answer that ad -84 Fonz: Leather tuscadero is a thief, three years ago she lifted my comb Howard: and she's still around to tell about it Fonz: heyyy the fonz is merciful -96 Leather: Listen Mr Magic i'm not like you, i can't control things with a finger snap fonz: Hey that didn't come to me right away, it took time, at least two night -96 Fonz: Since it is the Fonzs task to bring joy and laughter into everybodies hearts, esp the female gender, I am going to make Leather and the sueded very, very happy Richie: Fonz, your talking about my sister Fonz: Not in that way Rich. -96 Fonz: Don't rush it, you've got to live life one moment at a time because once time goes by, it never come back again -97 Richie: YOu know, you should think about what Fonz said, because you don't see too many forty year old skipping around the maypole -97 Chachi: I want the old Joanie back and I want her at my game tonite Joanie: You're nuts, and you haven't hit a homerun in months Chachi: Oh, yeah Joanie: Yeah Chachi: I gotta work on my comebacks -235 Fonz: You're not going to make points with her by showing her how much you hate her, you've got to show her how much you love her Chachi: That's beautiful Fonz: I know, I gotta start keepin a journal -235 Chachi: this is the part where you tell me you'd still like to be friends Joanie: I would, I'd like that very much Chachi: Well I hate that part, I can't be your friend now because I still love you. -235 Joanie: Chachi listen, I don't know if this will make it any better but the time we spent together was the best time in my whole life -235 Chachi: Hi, My names Chaci what's yours Kim: Kim Chachi: Oh Kim, that' a nice name, did you know your name spelled backwards is Mik? -236 Fonz: Let me take a stab here, your evening went well Chachi: I went out a boy and came back a man Fonz: Well, that's certainly a full evening -236 Joanie: Chachi that was one date, what does she know Chachi: YOu dumped me too, and you know me better than anyone Joanie: Chachi don't you see, that wasn't because of you, it was becaue of me, and what that girl did was because of her Chachi: oh sure, all you girls have problems and I have to take a beating for it. -236 Joanie: there are going to be times when you ask people out and there gonna say no, and there are gonna be times when you want people to ask you out and they won't. Then there are gonna be times when people yell air raid, and jump on your bones Chachi: that's not a bad line. -236 Fonz: It just so happens that the photograhper Chachi is helping is taking photos of girls in their birthday suits. Richie: Birthday suits, you mean nude? fonz: No, I mean with party hats and blowers, of course I mean nude. -#151 Chachi: I"m sorry Jake, but I have to quit. See my cousin offered me this real neat opportunity. If I leave here, I get to live. -#151 Roger: Did you know that no other mammal other than the primate has thumbs? Fonz: I guess that's why we never see them bowling. -#207 Marion: They never proved Flip was the thief, he had an iron clad alibi. Howard: Yeah, he said he was taking a shower all night. -#208 Roger: Sometimes Flip is so nice and fun to be around, others he's so impossible. Today he left the house without making his bed. Fonz: Any you didn't shoot him? -#208 Roger: Math Homework huh? Flip: You got it. Roger: Why don't you factor out? Flip: Why don't you? -#208 Roger: You were very responsible tonight, and as a reward, I'm going to take you miniture golfing tommorow. Flip: Miniture Golf, oh boy, please don't let me die tonight -#208 Roger: I don't get it, if you drove Aunt Marion home why won't they answer the phone? Flip: Maybe they went to bed. Roger: If they went to bed, why won't they answer the phone? Flip: Think about it. Roger: Ohhhh!! -#208 Howard: Marion, the kids are gone, we can do anything we want, we can even watch tv naked. Marion: Oh not that again, Howard. -#214 Fonz: Is your daddy home? Heather: No Fonz: When is your daddy coming home? Heather: Mommy says when Hell freezes over. -#214 Heather: Mommy, who was that. Ashley: Never you mind, it was someone who'll never set foot in this house again. Heather: Too bad, I thought he was cute. #214 Fonz: I have to go out to the garage Heather: Oh no you don't. Mom says you're going to go beat up the guy who spit on your trophy. -#216 Heather: A boy pulled my hair, I wanted to hit him. But, Mommy always told me when I get mad just say: Pins and needles, needles and pins, its a happy girl who always grins. - #216